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Hello, my name is Da Shan. This name might strike you as odd, as I am quite the opposite of what it really means (Big Mountain).

But that's quite alright, for I am a goldfish. Today was my first day in a new dwelling place. A bit shoddy at best, but it'll do. I made an acquaintance with another fish named Xiao Kou. We've played a few games together that fish often play; Swim Around in Circles, Stay at the Bottom, Respirate, and my personal favorite, Catch the Small Particles That Fall From the Surface.
My human is quite a strange one. I suppose I've grown to tolerate her. Anyway, we took a few photos, and I must say...they do emphasize my good side. Yes, they're rather flattering. Alright, I believe Xiao Kou would like to say a few words.
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Hi. Umm...My name is Xiao Kou, that means Little Mouth. I have a friend, I think. His name is Da Shan. He looks like a big mountain. He likes to eat mountains from the sky. It's his favorite game. He also likes to look at the green things floating above, asdo I. It is very amusing to look at green things floating above, we pretend they are clouds. They make shapes. My favorite game is Fighting for Food because Da Shan is so bad at this game; I always win. Umm...I like to pretend I am sleeping, and then wake up and then surprise Da Shan and make him fly around the cage--I means wim around the cage. I also like to talk to my other friend, Ginger who likes to follow me around. I only see her if I look at he side of my cage, I don't know why but I really like her. She only eats or poops when I do. I like Da Shan a lot better, though. Today, there were scary people looking at us. I don't know what they were doing but they had a big machine and they were pressing buttons, and tapping on the cage. It was so scary. It made me want to cry. OOOHOOWWAAHOOOOOOOOHH. I like to sing.